Author Archives: Sophie

“When you’ve found the right person; even if you lost them to somebody else or if you’d never had them in the first place, you never stop loving them”  Sheila O’ Flanagan

Just finished reading The Perfect Man by Sheila O’ Flanagan, I won’t give away the storyline or ruin it for anyone that hasn’t read it yet (you should read it girls!) but it has provoked me to write this. It seems to have taken some sort of lovey dovey power over me?!

So here goes…

Love hurts! Whether it’s love for a friend, family member or lover; when it’s good it’s good but when it’s good and it starts going bad it’s not good and when it’s bad and you can’t get good it’s bad. The expectations and stereotypes that we are surrounded with, give us – with the power of our imagination – unrealistic expectations. Don’t get me wrong here I’m not preaching, god knows I’m not perfect and we’ve all made mistakes in relationships, but recently I have seen how LOVE can make you foolish.

You meet the person of your dreams on an unplanned night out (you’re not up to it; you feel down about being single, don’t have anything to wear…blah blah blah!), you exchange numbers, start seeing each other more often (and when you do, you get the butterflies in your tummy); you go on dates, sleepovers and holidays together. Time goes by and you’re making progress as a couple, you say those three magic words to each other: I Love You and you love each other’s company too much. You talk about your future together, living together, marriage, children, growing old. And one day they turn around to you and tell you that something doesn’t feel right and you’re not ‘The One’. And that’s it.

So your world comes crashing down, you feel those feelings you always try and avoid; rejection, inadequacy and failure, along with disbelief and shock. Your heart is broken. You can’t see a light at the end of this tunnel. However there is light! Love made you fall for them and hurt can make you feel the opposite for them.

I have no doubt in my mind that you have all experienced this, it is part of life, growing up, experiences – learning from your mistakes and all that, what don’t kill you will make you stronger.

Now re-read the quote at the beginning of this – it makes no difference if you have found the right person and lost them or not. You love them still. Despite this, it is true that you will find the right person again, you won’t make the same mistakes, and you’ll no doubt tread more carefully the next time round. And the chances are it will happen again; you will feel those butterflies in your tummy once more and it will be when you least expect it (trust me I’ve seen it ;o)).

All of this make me question this feeling – love. Does it make us foolish and so irrational that we are entirely consumed by everything to do with it? Despite the fact that the feeling of being in love fills you with a high you can’t get from anything else. Or does it fill us with warmth with the knowledge of knowing that we are loved? Wherever you are in your life I’d like to believe that you’ve felt love of some sort and loved someone in one way or another. So embrace it!

Til next time… stay lovely! x